Black Greek, White Org
I never wanted to join a sorority. While friends from high school talked about wanting to seek out historically Black sororities that I knew of already, I was never interested. So when I got to college, I was surprised to find myself attending formal sorority recruitment with my roommate in the second semester of my first-year. My roommate knew she wanted to join a sorority as soon as she arrived on campus. She dragged me to a few interest meetings the previous semester for organizations most would categorize as historically White. Nevertheless, we ended up joining the same organization. Not before some research on my options, a failed attempt at getting selected for the spring fashion show, did I settle on the best decision I made in college, to become a sister of Delta Phi Epsilon International Sorority; a predominately White organization.
When your a Black student who joins a White fraternity or sorority, you might find yourself defending your decision making just a handful of times while you’re in college. In my case, a few more times when I went home too. While I did my research on the historically Black sororities available on campus, and had stopped by every single sorority table at the club fair, I could only recall one table meeting me with warmth, asking me questions, and offering guidance in a way that felt authentic to me. I put emphasis on to me because finding the right organization, Greek or non-Greek is a personal decision and experience. But, what do you do when a choice you want to make threatens to alienate you from your community? How do you respond when people question your identity because of a group association you belong to?
Here are my tips on how to overcome group scrutiny and rejection:
Be clear on why you’re making your decision- When something threatens the comfort of your family, friends, or inner circle, you begin to question why you’re potentially jeopardizing your harmony and making seemingly irrecoverable changes to your closest relationships. You have to do the self assessment to ensure that you’re making a decision that’s in your best interest mentally, physically, and emotionally. Remember that when you’re certain, you won’t be easily shaken.
Don’t take on what’s not yours- its not your job to hold someone’s hand through their growth. If someone cannot accept that there are different pathways to happiness and friendship, that’s not your burden to bare.
Maintain Your Dignity- you don’t have to explain yourself at all times. You have a right to your life and your version of happiness. It’s okay to let people remain curious.
Choosing Delta Phi Epsilon continues to be a great decision many years after college. I hope this helps you make the right choice for life, just like I did.
#sistersalways
